the blogger's apology

it's a common refrain on blogs - the 'oh my god, i'm such a bad blogger, i haven't posted in weeks' post. the promises to do better...

(it's a common refrain in my life come to that, the 'i really planned to get round to that, but somehow it slipped by the wayside' explanation...)

I had a long post planned about why posting had dried up, but i don't think all that detail's necessary. I'll summarise:

1. I started wondering too much about the point of some of the things I was doing and posting about
2. I was starting to find the selectiveness of blogging a bit like presenting a false front - why blog about the one decent meal i make a week when the rest of the time I eat chips and fishfingers in front of the TV? that kind of thing. it troubled me.
3. I changed roles at work and the ratio of my office hours I spend actually working increased from about 40% to a hair's width off 100%. the last thing I want to do with my free time is type, and look at a screen.
4. I found more often that not I wanted to just eat things, make things, see thigns, without stopping to photograph them first, and without stopping to plan how to present them in print

so, sadly, this blog, which I started with a great deal of ideas and exuberance, and which went quite swimmingly at first, has swiftly trailed off. as so many do.

which isn't to say I won't blog again - it's a nice project to have, and I do like projects. i really think a lot of good can come from the micro-communities blogs spawn; i've really appreciated comments i've got here, adn the inspiration i've got from other blogs. i can still feel the urge to blog. but it's a little like that urge to re-invent one's wardrobe or finally kick off the fitness programme in a big way - a nice idea, but not much without real commitment and realistic aspirations.

Anyway, I think that's about all I needed to say. I just felt I should come and finish things off nicely.

still here...

I've been capsized by work of late. It's been filling up my time and zapping my energy to such an extent that I haven't been able to blog for a while. So, sorry for the absence. I hope it will all settle down soon.

I did manage to make my first local meal, although the waste challenge is faltering somewhat. I also finished a good book I wanted to tell you about, I've experimented with homemade almond milk and I've exfoliated this and that...

So, watch this space, and just as soon as things start to calm down enough for me to get a chance to post, I will be back...

Dirty u-bends and therapeutic flying

photo from www.acroyoga.org

An interesting weekend just gone... The most part of my Saturday was spent balancing on strangers' feet, as per the colourful picture above, practicing 'elephant walking' my hands, stacking my bones and getting to grips with 'therapeutic flying'.

It was all part of a one-day workshop hosted by the co-founders of acroyoga Jason Nemer and Jenny Sauer-Klein. They basically play with yoga poses, bodywork techniques (especially thai yoga massage) and acrobatics to come up with a whole host of flying poses and moves which can be invigorating and spectacular or relaxing and therapeutic. Eventually practitioners can move together in a kind of vinyasa practice transitioning smoothly from pose to pose.

Whilst it took me a little time to get used to letting my upside down head rest on a stranger's belly, I really liked the playfulness and weirdness of it. Try doing the 'walnut' pose, where you're folded up over your partner's up-stretched legs, with your head tucked through and your hands gripping your touching feet - it just feels freaky, in a kind of wonderful way. It made me feel like I was a little lemur or something hanging out in the forest...

We were also introduced to thai massage, which I haven't experienced before. I really like the precept that it's all about allowing the body to work in the most effortless and efficient way - stacking the bones and using their weight rather than using muscle exertion and effort. In this way it serves both giver and receiver through being a gentle but firm touch for the receiver, and an interesting yoga work-out for the giver. Something I would definitely like to look into further

We finished the day with great big back bends giving a real sense of expansiveness and openness, and then an exercise called the 'water bed', which involved a lot of shaking, giggling and energy - the room must have looked quite crazy but I think everyone finished on a high...

Apart from the balancing and bodywork, I've also been inspired by this blog on the acroyoga site, which recounts a challenge by one of the acroyogis to keep every piece of rubbish (trash) for the duration of a three-month tour. Adi carried a bag around with her with every piece of (non-food) trash she produced. Surely this is the ideal way to really get in touch with what we are throwing away so flippantly all the time. Waste disposal has been so easy for so long that I guess most of us take it all for granted, with just a vague idea perhaps of the fact that it all has to end up Somewhere.

***

I had a particularly unpleasant illustration of some of what I throw out on Sunday, when the water refused to go down the kitchen sink plughole. After a lot of poking around we decided to get under the sink and unscrew all the plastic piping. And wow, what an ungodly stinking mess we uncovered. Thick brown sludge that has accummulated there over time. It really made me think about how unthinkingly we flush away and pour away and disappear what mess we produce.

(We were quite proud of our plumbing efforts though, neither of us having ventured into such territories before!)

So, I think I'm going to challenge myself to take up my own rubbish-carrying experiment to see how much I really produce, and what else I can cut out. I'm pretty good at buying unpackaged veg now, but there are so many other areas I need to think about. Over the next month or so I'll think about ways I can reduce what I am throwing out even more, and then - let's set a date - go for a month of waste collecting in June! There, I'm committed to it now. Slightly terrified by the vision of trying to cart around a suitcase full of junk, so I'm really going to have to concentrate on cutting it down! Any good waste-reducing tips willingly received!

where i am

I live in North London and work in a standard office-bound 9to5. I don't like my job that much most of the time, so I spend a lot of time pretending to work but actually making plans about what cakes I could make to use up sesame seeds, or drawing up excel tables of knitting projects I want to start, or trying to work out what chemicals are under my sink and how I could replace them with better alternatives. Writing out little goals for myself, ideas of things to make, resolutions to stick to, ways to make my personal impact on the environment a little lighter.

When I have access to the internet I'll peruse lovely sources of inspiration; people like these who tackle everything from drinking straws to solar panels to dishwashing with a cheerful optimism and thoughtfulness, and this who ponders beautifully on the links between crafting, society and the world at large, and this with completely aspirational crafting projects, or these charting their progress to an admirable zero waste goal.

And I am continually making notes of what I want to write about, and taking photos of this and that when I can, thinking one day I will share this with the world. And maybe something will come of it.

Because I am excited by my adventures into chemical alternatives, and homemade bread, and natural hairdyes. And I am proud of my unpackaged grocery hauls and my ways of using up bits of old vegetables or our salvaged homeware. But without sharing this and having some kind of community around it, it all feels a bit, somehow, wasted...

The problem is, I tend to favour plans over action. I spend a LOT of time thinking about things, and not a lot of time really doing them. I've planned bits of this blog time and time again, and got not a jot down and out into the ether because it never seems quite right. Or started and deleted and spent half a day debating the name...

So, I thought to myself, hell, just stop trying to shape this so much before you get there. Start from where you are. There's nothing wrong with starting right here. Whatever you have right now.

So this is where I am and this is where I start.